When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure , our health and our happiness — Dale Carnegie.
If you have not read the previous part, then click here.
In this second blog of mine i will be talking about the second chapter of this book.The name of this chapter is ‘They do not give away their power’.
In this chapter the author tells us about how mentally strong people do not give away their power to others.She explains this in a beautiful way by using live examples of people who use to come to her for help.
The first example talks about, Lauren and her problems with her mother in law, Jackie.
Lauren was a very polite and nice person.She loved her kids and her husband. Before the marriage she was convinced that her mother in law was going to be a great problem for her marriage.
Jackie (Lauren’s mother-in-law) used to make sudden visits to their place and sometimes used to stay the night. Lauren found that very offensive because that was the only time Lauren had between coming back from work and going to bed, to spend time with her girls.
The most thing that annoyed Lauren about Jackie was that she would always undermine the rules of the house by letting the girls watch tv or eat a desert. Jackie would also pass comments about how would watching tv and eating a desert affect the kids. But even after these rude comments Lauren would still be polite.
After all this she decided to take counselling. After which she realised that she had been spending hours about thinking how Jackie was troubling her and how she was taking way her time with her children.Then she understood that she was handing her hours of energy and power to Jackie.
Once she understood this, she decided to get things in order. She talked to her husband and got some rules set. They told Jackie that she cannot make anymore uninvited visits and she can have dinner sometimes.
This is how Lauren realised what she was doing and soon had to set some boundaries.
As the author Amy Morin says, that setting limits and boundaries are good whether they hurt the person or no. And emotional boundaries among near ones are needed.
The author has given us various examples about how Officer McDonald after a terrible accident by a boy who shot him, set out on his way to spread the word of forgiveness.
The author has also mentioned about the hardships of Madonna, Andy Warhol by telling us how they did not let anyone else control their actions and how they came to such a high level.
If they had accepted defeat by giving their power to the people who rejected them, they would never be here.